Mastering Your Own Emotions 2
Dealing with Anger when you don't have music:
(Because I have a passive-aggressive/explosive anger, so it can be hard to see the nuke about to drop)
Temporary Detachment: Because You're Mine, I'll Walk the Line
Knowing when you're about to explode and lose your cool isn't enough. You can't just sit there, still in the fires of the situation, and expect not to get burned by sheer force of your own willpower. It's not called retreating, cowardice, or running away from the problem: Instead, see it as a 'strategic withdrawal' to regroup your thoughts while at the same time giving yourself space to calm down before the boiler in your passions blows up everyone in the immediate vicinity with words or actions that can't be undone. Previous to doing this, one should, if possible, explain to the parties involved that their opinions and insights are valid, but you feel so strongly about this subject that you need to take a walk to collect your thoughts, because the topic is important to you. If they're understanding, they will let you have a short break from the discussion.
Parry and Thrust: Assertion that doesn't Alienate
Remaining calm in the middle of chaos takes practice, practice, practice. Don't beat yourself up if you lose your cool. Just know that you've pushed the envelope once again and the next time it happens, you'll be that much stronger. Sheer force of will to hold yourself and your heated opinion in check while debating can be daunting to your challenger, and may just be enough to wear them down to mental exhaustion. Remaining calm when the other party is expecting you to explode with fury can actually backfire on them, making them enraged instead, and angry people usually don't make wise choices. The day belongs to the calm and collected.
Total Disarmament: I'm wrong, you're right
Agreeing with your adversary is sometimes so unexpected, so random, that it will make them drop their guard and will defuse the entire situation. Thus giving you enough time to make amends or just drop the entire situation altogether. Sometimes friendship is more important than being right. Pride is a jagged pill to swallow, but sometimes worth it for the sake of the lesson in humility and the friend you still have.
Oops: They hit the big red button and you went postal
It happens to everyone. Pick yourself up, call your lawyer or friend for bail money, and walk away wounded but wiser. (After you've done your time: Jail usually gives people plenty of time to think.)