Living the 20s in Isolation
Sometimes I reflect on life, and I'm privy to be able to use Psychological theories to make sense of things I observe, even patterns of decisions I make daily. Observance of some personal behavior and my stage of life led me to the conclusion that my natural sequence of development may not be as unique I'd like to believe.
Developmental theorists presume that during early adulthood we are faced with what I think is the most difficult period of life: intimacy vs isolation. During this stage, we are faced with the challenge of forming friendships and an intimate partnership that should be sustainable till the end of life. There are some who navigate the waves of this stage effortlessly, laying the foundation for a life-long guarantee of happiness, and start to establish a milestone of having children. Then there are others of us who have no such luck and are left to feel isolated.
And of course, Psychologists suggest that the reason for this is that we did not pass through the previous stage of life (identity vs identity confusion) successfully, and we are still searching for ourselves and questioning who we are. They suggest that there may be a lack of self awareness which makes it difficult to share close relationships with others. But what after we have done soul searching and are positive that we have done everything to make ourselves lovable? Done everything to prepare ourselves to cross over from isolation, unto the greener pasture of intamacy? What happens when we have already well passed the age of 40 and we still have not managed to find "The One"?
I don't think there is anything wrong us. We just might not be looking in the right place, or are not even sure of what we are looking for. That list of "10 Essential Characteristics for a Perfect Man/Woman" may need some revision to include actual realistic and human character traits. I also find that we sit in our comfort zones too often, waiting for the love of our lives to come and sweep us away with horse and carriage. We amost never get out. We traverse the same route everyday, seeing the same people, having the same conversations. While traveling in the routine left lane, maybe if we stepped to the right, we'd be surprised who we meet.
And if all else fails, we continue having faith. And we wait.
Developmental theorists presume that during early adulthood we are faced with what I think is the most difficult period of life: intimacy vs isolation. During this stage, we are faced with the challenge of forming friendships and an intimate partnership that should be sustainable till the end of life. There are some who navigate the waves of this stage effortlessly, laying the foundation for a life-long guarantee of happiness, and start to establish a milestone of having children. Then there are others of us who have no such luck and are left to feel isolated.
And of course, Psychologists suggest that the reason for this is that we did not pass through the previous stage of life (identity vs identity confusion) successfully, and we are still searching for ourselves and questioning who we are. They suggest that there may be a lack of self awareness which makes it difficult to share close relationships with others. But what after we have done soul searching and are positive that we have done everything to make ourselves lovable? Done everything to prepare ourselves to cross over from isolation, unto the greener pasture of intamacy? What happens when we have already well passed the age of 40 and we still have not managed to find "The One"?
I don't think there is anything wrong us. We just might not be looking in the right place, or are not even sure of what we are looking for. That list of "10 Essential Characteristics for a Perfect Man/Woman" may need some revision to include actual realistic and human character traits. I also find that we sit in our comfort zones too often, waiting for the love of our lives to come and sweep us away with horse and carriage. We amost never get out. We traverse the same route everyday, seeing the same people, having the same conversations. While traveling in the routine left lane, maybe if we stepped to the right, we'd be surprised who we meet.
And if all else fails, we continue having faith. And we wait.
